His first day at school

It was T's first day at school today and it went way better than I could have ever expected. Upon arrival at the school gate, we were met by the school's assistant headteacher and before she could even say hello, T was like; my class is that way, having been to the school a few times on some welcome meetings. 'Oh he sure is confident and ready', the assistant head said before giving him the thumbs up and then ushering us on. Usually when introduced to a new person or environment for the first time, T goes into a shell, but not today. He said hello to all his teachers, shook their hands and when he saw his nursery classroom, he just took off exploring everything that was laid out. 'Oh he is so ready', one of his teachers said to me, 'doesn't look like you will have a problem with him settling in at all, he just appears so confident and ready to mingle'. It made me really proud as I watched other kids arrive, cling to their parents and refuse to look or acknowledge the teachers. After staying for about twenty minutes, I left and my other half soon followed, approximately fifteen minutes later. At the end of the day, we were told T was an absolute joy. He didn't fuss at all and made quite an impression on everyone present. Apparently at one point, he picked up a toy guitar and serenaded the whole nursery only to become embarrassed when the audience that had gathered to watch him started to applaud. Overall sounds like an awesome first day and I am so thrilled. I hope he keeps that spirit going.

Art therapy

What to do when your son tells you he does not like you? Indulge in some art therapy I guess. Just over 2 hours ago, I put T in a timeout for being naughty and unruly. Moments later he uttered those painful words every parents dread,' I don't like you Daddy'! I was so shocked and disappointed, I marched over to him and told him to take it back, which he did. Still reeling and slightly upset after he had gone to bed, I grabbed some pieces of paper  to channel the anger and disappointment I was feeling. I was shocked by what resulted. I have named the pictures 'mean cross daddy' and 'smiley happy daddy'. They are on the wall now and the next time T is being disobedient I can point at them and tell him the choice of which daddy he likes or dislikes, and the daddy he has to deal, lies fully with him.

Back to work blues

It has been over two weeks since I went back to work and oh boy am I exhausted! Before I went back to work, I felt like I hardly had any time in a day. Now that I am back to work, I feel like I am in a race against time and it seems as if I am almost rushing to catch up every time. I rarely ever have time for lunch now. My mornings are as chaotic as ever. And by the time I have to go to bed, I am in a daze wondering where the whole day went.

To make matters worse T is starting to act up over my return to work and he is not happy that I have left him at home to be looked after by my Mum. At first, he was fine with me going out to work and he was really sweet to my Mum. Over the first week, he hardly baited an eyelid as I got ready, picked up my bag and said goodbye: so long as he had something to watch on TV. After the first week, he started to whine a bit about my going to work and I also started to notice some not so nice attitude from him to my mum. Not knowing what to make of it, I started telling him that my mum was there to help as I needed to work so I can earn money for us to buy a shiny new car which he can ride in and also take him on a trip to Disneyland: all true and valid points. It seemed to work for a few days until Tuesday night when I was putting him to bed, he point blank told me he did not want me to go to work anymore. But I have to so we can buy a car and go to Disneyland, I pointed out. 'I want you home to look after me', he answered. But Grandma is here and she can look after you while I am at work, I added. 'No! Grandma can go back to her house and you stay here in our house to look after me', he retorted. We left it at that, me thinking it was just a random conversation. Yesterday morning, soon as he woke up, he hugged me and asked what we were doing for the day. I am going to work and you are staying with Grandma after which I will take you out to play when I get back, I answered. He threw a strop instantly and repeated what he had said the night before about me not going to work: I thought he was playing. A few hours later as I got ready to leave, he asked to go to the toilet so I put him on the toilet. My mum seeing it was time for me to leave stepped in and offered to watch over and wipe him when he was done. Soon as she stepped into the toilet and I stepped out, he started crying and screaming at her to go away because he wanted his daddy. Each time she asked if he was done, she was met with a resounding and emphatic no, I want my daddy. Seeing my mum struggling, I dropped my bag, stepped back in the toilet and asked if he was done. I got a yes at the first time of asking so I wiped him and explained to him once again why I had to go to work. I walked over to the treat cupboard, gave him a treat and he calmed down enough for me to be able to leave for work. When I arrived home in the afternoon, I was informed by my mum that he had wet himself twice and pooed in his pants and during the times he did it, he was standing there just staring at her and did not even say a word afterwards. Now he rarely ever pees himself let alone pooh, yes sometimes he has accidents and when he does, it is mainly because he got carried away and realized late. But to just stand there and pee or pooh without any care... he is mad at me and he is acting out by being very mean and standoffish to my mum- not cool! This morning was the same. Me trying to leave. Him trying for me to to leave. My mum caught in the middle doing all she can to help.
Never one to give up easily, I have been thinking all day and I have my first idea to try out to see if it works. I hardly ever give T treats or sweets because he is such a fussy eater but I am not my mum so I am hoping a little bit of bribery, the oldest trick in the book, would aid his transition from Daddy daycare to Grandma daycare. I have prepared some bags of treats and for the next week, I will instruct my mum to give them to him when I am away at work.

Hopefully that would make him warm to her as he starts to associate their time together as a time to be treated.  I really hope it works because if it does not then I do not know what to do as I am at my wits end. One thing for sure is I am not about to give up work so if he carries on, then it is going to be one long summer for everyone in our household especially my mum who is just doing her bit to help.

A huge lesson

On our way to meet a friend, T and I stopped over at a playground to play. We hadn't been there 10 minutes when this lady and her daughter walked in and instantly some "Mompetition" ensued. For those who are not in the know, the urban dictionary defines "Mompetition" as the one-up rivalry Mums (who are seen as primary givers) play in order to make their children seem better, smarter, and/or more advanced than your child. Anyway back to this lady and her daughter: everything T did, the little girl with mum urging her on did. She was faster taking turns on the slide and was happy to shout about it with mum applauding, and when they played on the carousel she had a good laugh about how terrified T was and how she wasn't when it was spinning really fast. We went on the swing and there she was on the next swing. T started to sing and of course so did she, only louder. When T asked to go higher, she also requested that her mum pushed her higher. Mum of course pushed so hard I thought her daughter might fall out of the swing at any minute. Wanting to shake the irritating duo off, T and I headed to the jungle gym in a different part of the playground but to our annoyance they weren't too far behind. The jungle gym had different levels of difficulty so I followed T and kept instructing him to hold on and pay attention as he made his way along. Little Miss duplicator soon caught up of course, I mean she is only about year or two older and as a result was quicker. I watched as she shoved T out of the way, raced past him, completed the course and then embarked on it again. Moments later she reached a portion of the course that involved crossing via a narrow piece of rectangular wooden log. Intent on catching up with T again so she could show him up, she was going quite fast and was looking right ahead at us instead of at the obstacle in front of her. Suddenly she tripped and fell. She let out a loud painful scream as she landed hard on the wooden log and was only saved from falling off completely by the safety ropes that were tied into a mesh on both sides of the wooden log. I could only watch in horror as Mum came to her aid clearly distressed and filled with pity. She picked her up and they both walked off nursing her bruised elbow and ego. When I saw them leaving the park, I was tempted to run after them and ask if the daughter was alright but I had my own child who was still on the jungle gym to look after plus I had just won a game of "Mompetition" so I just looked on and hoped both mother and child had learned their lesson.

When T grows older, I will tell him this story and the moral of it being worry less about what others are doing and focus on what you are doing for you could end up loosing all that you have worked hard for trying to keep up with others if you do not keep up with your own self. 

Question!

Why is it that when I am folding clothes after doing laundry around T, I feel like a matador? What is it about toddlers that just makes them want to run all up in clean clothes or jump up and down in them. Grrr not impressed!

Funny moment: Candice Vs. candies

In a case of what I said vs what he heard, I was in the kitchen getting breakfast ready muttering away to myself when T walked in. 

'Daddy who are you talking to? He asked.

My invisible friends. I answered with a shrug.

Looking puzzled, he asked: 'Huh, what is an invisible friend'?

Friends of mine that I can see but you can't see. I have loads of them and their name all starts with the letter C. Like Cassandra!

'I don't like Cassandra', he retorted.

Chloe?

'I don't like her'!

Clarissa?

'I don't like her'!

Chandra?

'I don't like her'!

Candice?

'Huh'?

Candice?

'Candies'?!!! His eyes lit up. 'Oh I like her, she can stay'. 

A new reward chart

Everyone who follows my updates on this blog will know by how now how much of a hard time I have sometimes trying to get T to eat. Last night, I made him what I perceived to be his favourite meal, cous-cous only to have him turn up his nose at it saying he was not hungry. He wanted the pop-corn he had spotted in the kitchen earlier of course instead but didn't dare say it. Anyway I didn't say a word, I simply put his food in a takeaway plate and put him to bed almost soon afterwards. Around 11pm he woke up and was screaming his head off for no apparent reason. When I asked what was wrong, he wouldn't say so I had no option but to tell him to go back to sleep and stop fussing. About 30 mins afterwards he settled down and went back to sleep so I went to bed. Moments later, he was up and crying again and the worst part was he wasn't saying what was wrong so had no option but to wait it out till he settled. The trend continued for the most part of the night until at 3:45AM when he woke up crying again, I had an eureka moment. I fetched the food I had put away earlier, told him to sit eat in bed and surprise, surprise he started chowing down. When he was done, he went back to sleep, never to wake until 8AM. As I laid back down to sleep after the whole drama, I started thinking of what to do. By morning I had come up with an idea of a reward chart that incorporates good eating habits with good behaviour.  Everytime he eats a decent portion of his meal, he gets 2 stars in his favourite colour, yellow. When he is good he gets a green star. When he is horrid or naughty or doesn't eat a decent portion of his meal, he gets a star in the colour he is least keen on, orange. At the end of the end, the amount of stars he has amassed in each category is totaled and the figure from the subtraction of the orange stars from yellow and green stars determine if he receives his favorite treat of "Haribo" or not the next day at lunch time. A total of +5 and above in favour of good behaviour equals a whole Haribo mini-bag; anything between +1 and +4 equals that number in single Haribo gummies; and anything below 0 means a good talking to at bedtime and no Haribo gummies. In addition to learning the life lesson of rewarding good behaviour, I hope having him present while we count and add up his numbers at night will aid his number and counting skills. Just yesterday I was sitting watching him play with a peg board and I was stunned when he counted each peg as he picked it up to stick in the board up to 15. He is remarkably clever and ever since I explained the reward chart to him this morning, has been on his best behaviour. He is on 4 yellow and 1 green star so far, and no oranges so fingers crossed.

Here comes the lies

T told his first lie today. I told him to eat his lunch and while attending to some chores in the next room and noticed through the reflection in the mirror that instead of eating he was playing with a pen that was lying within arms rich on the table. Are you eating? I asked. Yes, he answered. Moments later, he heard my footsteps approaching. In the same mirror, I spied him dropping the pencil, pick up the spoon and pretend as if he as busy eating. Soon as I came into the room where he was, he looked up at me, smiled and without me asking, he said, I am eating! I could only feign a smile at the lie. Hopefully he doesn't make it a habit.

The very hungry toddlerpillar

If you have read the story of 'the very hungry caterpillar', then you will know where I am going with this one. From not wanting to eat and being rather fussy about what he eats, T now cries out 'I'm hungry', way too often. Yesterday just an hour after lunch, he was hungry and had two bananas. Half an hour later, he was hungry and had cake and a plum. Another hour later, he was hungry again and had a whole Sharon fruit (persimmon). By the time it was dinner time, he was nagging me for juice and crisps. Judging by how hungry he has been lately, one would think he is being starved LOL!

Children see... children do!

There are no bad kids. Only bad parents

If you haven't read the story of the kids behaving badly at the Tate Gallery, I implore you to click here. Kids behaving badly and parents condoning it. Sadly issues like this are common experiences these days, I know first hand because being a parent I am constantly watching other parents around me. My observations have led me to believe that when we complain about kids lacking commonsense and respect, or exhibiting a blatant disregard for other people and their property, we should look no further than at their parents. I have lost count of the number of times I am in a supermarket and some kid is helping him/herself to an item and the parent turns a blind eye, or times when some kid is behaving badly and the parent instead of correcting is busy making excuses that they are a certain age and as a result that is what they do. Kids sometimes don't know any better but do your job as a parent and correct them sheesh! And don't just stop there, try and always set them a good example, take for instance this lady at playgroup this morning. She arrived just after I had arrived and we were both instructed at the same time that the playgroup was full and we should put our name down and when someone leaves, we will get called in accordingly. Considering I arrived before her, you would think she would let me put my name down first...no! Instead she left her buggy right in the middle of the walkway in front of the door obstructing access and then quickly scribbled her son's name down while I waited for her to move out of the way so I can put my son's name down. I didn't say anything to her because I dislike getting into confrontations with strangers in front of my son but I was seething I wanted to kick her and her buggy out of the way. We both made it into the playgroup and it came as no surprise that her son turned out to be rather unruly. While playing, she kept telling him to wait his turn but did you think he listened? No! The apple never falls far from the tree after all. As a parent, it is up to you to show and teach your kids respect for others and their property. It does not matter how precious your kids are, if you fail to instill respect in them, then they will never grow out of that mentality of treating everything like it is their playground forever.

Go away Daddy!

Still on the subject of  the power of words, T has been saying a few lately that makes me go wowzer what in the world; and the one I detest the most is when he tells us his parents to 'go away'! Something picked up from the playground I suppose because we never say that in the house. Anyway I have tried telling him to stop but he would not so lately I have been resorting to drastic action. This morning he told me to go away after I had told him it was time for breakfast. Thinking I was going to start preaching as I usually do, he was surprised when I simply got up, walked away and disappeared behind the fridge in the kitchen. Oh by the way I just saw a giant spider behind the sofa so do not call for me if you see it, I said loudly from my hiding place. He jumped up instantly, raced to the kitchen only to find the child safety gate was locked and he could not get in. He tugged and pulled while screaming at the same time, 'daddy ungoaway'! I cannot protect you, you told me go away, I answered. 'No come back, come baaaacccck nowwww... spiders try to get me', he screamed. 'I don't want you go away; I scared'. That was the answer I was waiting for. I stood up and told him to repeat what he had just said. Then I pointed out that that is exactly why he should never tell me to go away. He nodded in agreement. In time and with a few more repeats of the same scenario and he should finally get the message.

To be young and carefree

Sitting at breakfast this morning, the following transpires between T and I
Me: Why do you keep playing when you should be eating? Are you not hungry?
He does not answer. He just carries on playing until he spills yogurt all over the new clothes he is wearing for the first time. He looks up at me and says nothing.
Me: Oh my word! Now look what you've done. You've got chocolate yogurt all over your new clothes.
He looks at his new clothes. "Choooocolate"!
Me: Yes chocolate! It's all over your clothes and I am not pleased.
He looks back at me and shrugs his shoulders. "You clean it"! Just like that he carries on playing.

'No way'!

T has been saying 'no way' a lot lately when I try to get him to do sometthing and I am slightly baffled by where he got it from considering that is not a phrase we use in our household. That was until yesterday when I saw him try to get past a young girl on the slide apparatus in the park and she screamed at him,'no way'! Good grief the things we come home with from the playground.

Cest la vie

Don't ask me why he is dressed in onesie and boots, clapping and partying around the house like it's 1999! Such is life with toddlers.

Little terror

You know when people with young kids tell you toddlers are little devils... believe them! Three days ago T brought a balloon home from a birthday we had attend and it only took him about a day to find out  I am one of these people that is over-sensitive to high pitched scratching and screeching sound. Now he uses it to terrorize me. Twice today I had chastised him for being disobedient and off he went, grabbed his balloon, walked over to and smiled at me, and started giving the balloon a good scratching. So far it has been difficult not to act as if I am not affected but I am trying. The plan is to let him have his five minutes of fun scratching before I surprise him by popping the balloon with a concealed needle <bang> and scaring the wits out of him to teach him a lesson. I just hope he doesn't poo poo his pants in the process because guess who will have to clean it up?!! Ha ha ha ha Daddy always wins ^_^ 

It's curtains for the Zing Zillas

Just a few weeks ago I wrote talking about how T was all about the Zing Zillas and how I will be watching to see how long the infatuation lasts. Well well well, I was spot on. He's lost his appetite for them and as soon as they come on he moves on to doing something else; like playing with his toys or asking for Mickey instead for instance. Oh to be young and fickle!

I am Daddy to you!

T has addressed me by lots of different names in the past and each time I had adopted them without much fuss. I have been known as yaaaaa, eh, daaaaa, da-da, just to name a few. At one point I was even tempted to don a lace front wig, lipstick and earrings when he started calling me mummy but he doesn't anymore now, unless he fancies a laugh at my expense. Just as I was thinking he had settled for daddy, I got a surprise last week when he referred to me by my first name for the first time ever. I thought it was cute at first but a week on, I am starting to think oh no it is not. He doesn't do it every time, just when he feels a sense of urgency. When I correct him, he thinks he's being funny as usual. I might have taken a few things lying down in the past. But this, uh uh no!

Mr Bloom's nursery has struck a nerve

If you happen to be visiting our house and you notice an assortment of vegetables arranged around the TV like in the picture below, it is not because we are a bunch of veggie-nuts, it may be because Mr Bloom's nursery is on TV. It all started about a month ago when I discovered the show and encouraged T to watch it as a means of stimulating his love and appetite for vegetables. It worked because these days he eats a lot more vegetables at food time than he used to. Nevertheless as with everything, there is a by-product. Whenever the show is on and as soon as the vegetables appear on screen, T would run into the kitchen, pick up the vegetables one by one, and arrange them in front of the TV. The squash is his favorite. He would hold and caress it, sing, dance and talk to it. And then just as soon as the show is over he would say goodbye, put all the vegetables down and move on to something else. It is so funny and bizarre to watch.

I got the proof

OK so I have been going on and on about how T always runs to the toughest apparatus in the playground. Usually I'm too busy trying to help or coax him out of going on to take a picture. Yesterday however I manage to snap him in action.