Goodbye Grandma

Grandma left yesterday to go back home and honestly I am a little sad and miss her. I am not sure how T feels about her leaving though; one moment he says he misses her, and the next moment, he says he doesn't. I think it all boils down to the fact that he is aware that now Grandma is gone, one of us his parents will be home looking after him; and no amount of sweeties or cuddles or naps on 'Grandma's fatty belly', as he likes to say can beat that. I am ever so thankful to my Mum for the assistance she contributed over the summer months and I look forward to her next visit, hopefully in the very near future.

Day out to Bournemouth Beach

It was my birthday over the weekend and as a treat, our neighbours and very good friends took us out for the day to Bournemouth Beach. I have to say I was pleasantly surprised by how nice it is. I had always imagined all British seaside towns to be run down and full of bland dodgy gaming centres and amusement arcades hence why I don't associate beach holidays with being in the UK but Bournemouth changed my opinion slightly. Yes the water was not exactly very warm but it was manageable and the beach was very clean. Plus the gradient at the beach is not very steep meaning the water is shallow enough to make dipping with T a much pleasurable experience. I will like to try the Torbay area next. With companies especially airlines bumping up their prices during school holidays and with T starting school real soon, it is worth investigating the options available within the UK.

It's a birthday party

T had his birthday party yesterday and it was a great opportunity to get his friends together in one place, catch up, play, and parrrty! The kids had so much fun playing various games including 'pin the tail on the donkey', 'musical chairs', 'pass the parcel', and the one that proved the most popular, ' a pinata'. Overall it was a great day and a marvelous celebration. We are thankful to everyone that came out to help us celebrate.

Daddy has chickenpox

As stated earlier this week, the Easter bunny was very kind and brought T lots of chocolate and fun for Easter. For me, however the Easter bunny was rather mean and nasty and instead of bringing all things good, it brought me what I had been dreading for a long time, "chickenpox".
It all started on Good Friday when I woke up feeling slightly feverish. I didn't think anything of it of course and after a quick dose of paracetamol, I was soon back to feeling well again. Saturday was pretty much the same; we had a lot of plans then and other than a slight headache when I woke up, the day passed without much discomfort or issues as we went about our business. Fast forward to Monday and I woke up feeling very sick indeed. My head and joints ached, I felt sapped of energy, and I noticed the lymph nodes beneath both ears at my chin were swollen. We had plans I had been looking forward to on the day however something told me I had to rest and stay indoors so I listened to my head and stayed home. By Monday evening, I noticed that my whole scalp felt inflamed and there was a tiny red bump on my left shoulder blade. That was when it hit me that I may have chickenpox. When I woke up on Tuesday morning, what was one tiny red bump had multiplied and my back, abdomen, chest and entire head was covered in little pus filled bumps. By Tuesday evening, I was feeling very itchy and uncomfortable, and I just wanted to grab a blade and scrape off my entire head of hair because I just kept getting this wave of painful sensation that went around my head in a circle as if someone was hammering hundred of needles down each hair follicle in procession. The Doctor who I had called earlier for advise came over, gave me an examination, confirmed I had chickenpox and put me on a prescription of antibiotics so as to limit any complications arising from my infection. Overnight I realized I could not lay my head down to sleep because regardless which way I tried; the pressure exerted by me pressing my head against my hands or on a pillow was just totally unbearable. Wednesday was the worst. Every inch of my upper body was itchy, I had a massive fever, I was exhausted and I just felt totally horrible and dirty every time I looked in the mirror. At one point I became fixated on the time and sat there looking at the clock as it ticked wishing I had the power to will time by so I did not have to go through the discomfort I was experiencing. By mid afternoon, I had reached a low point so I draped a blanket over my head and started to rock back and forth telling myself I have survived worse and this too shall soon pass. When it was bedtime, I barred myself to the living room sofa knowing sleeping in the bedroom will mean keeping the entire household awake. I was right because I did not sleep a wink that night.
It is Saturday morning now and I am feeling more energized and much better on my way to recovery. All my bumps have scabbed over and some are actually starting to fall off. The itch though as much as I would like it to stop has not stopped completely and I find myself struggling not to submit and itch here and there. Just gross!

Moving on swiftly, as much as I had dreaded being infected with chickenpox, I am also glad that between T and I (my other half is immune and has been looking after T this entire period), I got infected first and it was not the other way. So far T is showing no symptoms and that is very surprising considering he has been around me the whole time and I have an inkling we were both exposed when I became infected. Anyway that is unimportant now and what matters is that when and if he gets infected, I will be ready knowing what it feels like and what remedies to use to help him ease the discomfort. Speaking of remedies, I found Calamine lotion absolutely useless and after two days of using it and being fed up with its ineffectiveness and messiness, I switched to another product called, 'Eurex', which was recommended by T's godmother and found it generally more effective. I also tried soaking myself in a bath of 'Dead Sea Spa Magik salt', as recommended by the many users of Netmums, although I am not exactly sure if it had any real effect or not. I did feel amazing immediately after having the bath but if that is down to some placebo effect or not, I do not know and will not comment further LOL!

Consequently, in the past when people had spoken about chickenpox I have often wondered if it really is as nasty as they have described it. Now that it has happened to me, I believe it is. I have been ill too many times in the past to remember every episode bar a few but I will certainly remember this for sure. The level of discomfort and helplessness I felt was just too great to forget and I am glad it is a once in a lifetime type of infection phew! Now if this dark spots on my face can just all disappear immediately. Boy recovery is still a long way yet.

Happy Easter

Hope the Easter Bunny was kind to you and yours. T requested and got for himself a monstrous amount of treats and chocolates! Cannot wait to do it again next year.

Children and their toys: A toy story

Here is a fascinating piece about children across the world and their favourite collection of toys. When I read that the photographer had said based on his observations that the richest children were more possessive compared to children in poorer countries who even if they only had two or three toys didn't really care, I couldn't help but nod in agreement.

A lot to say on the issue of term time holidays

There are some pieces of legislation I come across sometimes that just renders me speechless for a brief moment before I have an out pouring of words I have to beg myself to stop. Many like the hateful spate of anti-homosexual bills being issued by numerous backward nations around the world at the moment or Arizona’s ongoing ludicrous religious rights bill do not make it on to here for specific reasons. The UK government’s amendment to the Education Act which basically criminalizes parents for taking their children out of school during term time for holiday or extended leave purposes has to though. If you are not aware of this amendment or have never read a word of it, it is available and explained here.

The issue of taking children out of school to enjoy a break away with family has long been a decisive one. So it is no surprise that with the new amendment and the difficulties some parents are facing, the matter is back in the news and is currently being examined and debated by parliament. This follows a father’s rant which went viral about how much he had to pay to take his family abroad on holiday during the school holiday period. So why now is parliament just examining and debating this law you ask? How did they not do it before signing it into law you wonder? Yes, while we were worrying about other issues like the recession, jobs, recovery, immigration, Romania, Scotland, EU and all that other mess, these sets of politicians were busying coming up with all sorts of ideas, some of which escaped the public’s eye and got made law before anyone could raise an objection; this amendment is one of them.

Moving on swiftly, it has only been 6 months since the amendment was made and people are starting to be up in arms. On one hand, we have the group that say this amendment is a necessary evil. On the other, we have those that say it is straight ridiculous and amount to dictatorship. I am with the latter. The former including the very annoying Education Secretary that keeps tweaking and messing with the education system have listed a whole range of points why this amendment is necessary, these three stand out the most to me

1.      Parents that take their children out of school during term time to holiday abroad are displaying a lack of commitment to their children’s learning.

2.      Children who miss a few day of school miss out on important teaching and learning and this absence can seriously harm their progress and attainment plus it can impact other children’s learning

3.      Holidaying abroad is a luxury, not a right or necessity so if you cannot afford to go abroad during the school holidays then holiday here in the UK

Typical holiday price comparison chart by the Daily Mail

One can only laugh and watch haplessly as rich politicians who have no clue about what it is like to work in a dead end job for peanuts, pass judgments on regular everyday people who are struggling to do the best for themselves and their families. I sat down and below are my thoughts about the three points above.

1.      This is true but only to a certain extent. Formal learning is important but so is the informal learning part so what parents contribute to their child’s education outside of school should never be overlooked especially the self-esteem part. One of the biggest problems in society today is our over-reliance on the formal education system. Too many parents rely entirely on the school system and teachers to parent and teach their children while forgetting that teachers and the school system can only do so much. A teacher can lecture children about people skills or forming and creating good relationships day in day out but it is through spending quality time with others including parents, friends and family in the context of culture, community and the environment that children really learn to build good relationships and develop an excellent sense of self and true belonging. Look at all these kids walking the streets of our big cities these days. Many of them have gone to school, gained qualifications upon qualifications yet they have no real self-esteem or a sense of belonging. They have no time for anyone, they have no common sense, they don’t respect anybody, and they feel disconnected from everything and everyone around them within the community. I am sure somebody told them about respect, care and personal responsibility in school but have they did they have the opportunity or the environment outside of school to apply it? Probably not. Also just because people send their children to school 24/7 does not mean they are committed to their learning; for many it is just a case of transferring responsibility so they can attend to other issues like work, money, etc. The next time there is an unexpected school closure due to the weather or strike, peep the numbers of parents on TV moaning about the mild inconvenience of having to be stuck at home with their children for a few days and you will see what I mean.
On to another level before I move on to the next point, when you are an immigrant the situation gets even more complex. I for example do not know any teacher that can teach my son about his family’s cultural origin and people considering my partner and I are immigrants with the bulk or our families living abroad. So if we decide to take him out of school during term because that is when we can afford the costs or we/they can get time off work so we can experience what it is like being together with our family, does that mean we are not committed to our son’s learning? Just last year we went with our son to the US to celebrate Thanksgiving with family and we were thinking it will be the last time we will be able to do that considering he starts school in September and Thanksgiving is not a holiday in the UK. Is it fair to have something that has such a major cultural impact on us and we would like to pass to our children taken away? What about penalizing all the people that would like to celebrate Eid, Durga Puja, weddings, funerals, you name it with family abroad considering the number of immigrants in this country and these not being UK holidays? Shall we just say that is their problem or do their situation just not matter?

When you are an immigrant the situation gets even more complex. I for example do not know any teacher that can teach my son about his family’s cultural origin and people considering my partner and I are immigrants with the bulk or our families living abroad. So if we decide to take him out of school during term because that is when we can afford the costs or we/they can get time off work so we can experience what it is like being together with our family, does that mean we are not committed to our son’s learning? Just last year we went with our son to the US to celebrate Thanksgiving with family and we were thinking it will be the last time we will be able to do that considering he starts school in September and Thanksgiving is not a holiday in the UK. Is it fair to have something that has such a major cultural impact on us and we would like to pass to our children taken away? What about penalizing all the people that would like to celebrate Eid, Durga Puja, weddings, funerals, you name it with family abroad considering the number of immigrants in this country and these not being UK holidays? Shall we just say that is their problem or do their situation just not matter?

2.      Unless a child is constantly absent from school or they have had a long spell of absence, this is untrue. The same way people argue that a short break will make a child fall behind in school, one could argue that a short break may be what they need to refresh and kick start their motivation for learning. I was in that situation years ago aged 11 in my first year of secondary school back in Africa when I had major surgery for complicated appendicitis and missed over 7 weeks of school. After I was healed, I rejoined my class and sat the same exams everyone sat without favors. At the end of the term, I was bench-marked 47^th out of 49 students in the class. Knowing I would have to repeat the class if I did not improve and not wanting to, I was motivated to study and work harder and by the end of that school calendar year when benchmarks for the entire year was released I had improved and placed 9^th out of 49 students. If a child suddenly stops progressing or performing in school, then it is up to the school to work with the parents to determine the underlying cause. Are there issues such as distractions outside of school? Is there a lack of parental support with assignments and homework? Or is there an non-diagnosed disability or condition involved? Blaming a short leave of absence for the reason a children fails to progress at school just sounds phony. Many parents want the best for their children so I don’t see why they would take them out of school knowing it will hinder their progress. What I see are parents who are trying to do the best for their children and teachers who are trying their hardest to do as much as they can. Perhaps schools and parents need to work better together for the children’s sake but how does this amendment help that? It does nothing other than  penalize parents for daring to make what they think is the best decision for their family, think about all the low paid people on zero hour contracts that can only have time off work at certain periods. Do they not deserve to have a break with their family when they can?
3.      Of course I am sure many people would rather holiday in the UK if they can but everyone who has ever seen the school holiday period prices of train companies (that is if you don’t have to ride on a bus because of engineering works), Butlins and Centre Parcs will understand why the likes of Ryanair and Easyjet do great during school holidays. Bring on-board the crazy unpredictable UK weather and you will understand why people who live in the UK like to travel abroad to the Sunshine when they have the opportunity? The introduction of Air Passenger duty (APD) has not helped either. Add that on top of airlines putting up prices during the school holiday periods and holidays begin to get out of reach for a lot of people. Indeed on recent air tickets I had bought recently, APD actually exceeded the price I paid for the seat itself. So it is no wonder people want to pull their children out of school to go on holiday when they spot discounts they can afford. In a nutshell many working parents are so priced out of the market during school holiday periods they have to resort to desperate means if their children are ever to have a holiday. I even read the story of a parent who actually took his kids out of school and was happy to pay the fine levied by their school on return because the total worked out cheaper than what he would have paid minus the fine during the school holiday period. Bearing that in mind as well as all the other crazy levies that have been introduced in the past, one has to wonder what this law will really achieve other than to line someone’s pockets; the school, government, whoever because Lord  knows who gets to keeps the fine. Also is it right that politicians in Westminster who enjoys the bulk of summer off and have deep pockets get to legislate and control when the rest of us the working population goes or cannot go on a holiday with our families considering the cost of a holiday is not something they or their corporate friends will never have to worry about?

It is unclear where this parliamentary debate regarding this issue will lead to. Will they decide to regulate prices during school holidays? That sounds impossible! Will they stagger school holidays across the England during the school year? Heaven knows! Or will this amendment be struck down and parents handed back some controls about the decisions they make regarding their children’s day to day education and learning? We will see. One thing is clear though and that is this government needs to step back and stop acting like a dictatorship especially regarding the educational system. Since this government took power, there has been change after change to the education system, every other day there is another change or announcement. It is no wonder teachers are fed up and have announced a strike for next month. There is only so much they can take and guess what, parents might be next. The current education secretary is so unpopular one wonders why he is still in the job. I have watched him a couple of times on TV and I find him quite the cocky, talkative and slippery kind and we all know what cocky talkative slippery characters did to our economy. Thus, I rest my case.

Time to head back home

Sadly our time in New York has now come to an end and it is time to pack our bags and head back home to England. We had so much fun with the family here and it is hard to imagine where all the time went; it just seem to whizz by. T is not thrilled at the prospect of  leaving but he is dealing with it well enough. On our second day here, he actually told me he loves New York and hates London: I suppose because of all the cousins he has to play with here. Hopefully the excitement and buzz in the run up to Christmas will be enough to cheer him up when we get back home. We hope to be back here again very soon.

Still buzzing like a bee

Some quick computer time! T's christening and my wedding went well in case you are wondering. It was a small event and close friends and family members were there to help share in our joy and celebrate; we all had such an amazing time. Poor T was so exhausted from all the activities and having to smile the whole time for the camera, he actually fell asleep with me carrying him at some point.
We still haven't had anytime to sit still and are getting ready to head to the zoo as I type. I hope T has a good time because it is cold and the ground is all covered in snow which fell last Saturday at the moment.

Happy Thanksgiving

Happy Thanksgiving. Enjoying our stay here in New York and waiting patiently for all the food later. In the meantime T and I would watch the Macy's Thanksgiving day parade. I wish we had a spectacle as big as it in the UK... sigh!

Indulging in snowy activities

Hello from New York state where T  is having a whale of a good time. It snowed here a couple of days ago, not London snow, I am talking proper snow. It all started as a small dusting the day after we arrived. T was loving it praying and asking for more big snow so he can go out sledding and build a snow man with his cousins. And his prayers were certainly answered because it snowed heavily overnight and he had tons of fun playing in the snow this afternoon. Now if he could just get himself up the slope the next time instead of asking me to ferry him. All the same it was quite an experience.

His first flight

T embarked on his first trip on an airplane last week and he was exceptional throughout the 8 hour flight. He smiled at everyone through check-in, sat in his seat without much fussing, ate the in-flight meals without much prompting and even took a 2 hour nap at one point. Upon our landing he was getting compliments left, right and centre. 'Oh wow I didn't know you had a toddler with you there', an older lady commented. 'He was extraordinarily quiet throughout that flight'. Let's just say I wasn't the only one that was impressed.

The power of words

Words of wisdom from one of my favourite models of all time, Iman. She said and I quote: "I have a 12-year old daughter and when she does something wrong, she says, 'I was very bad'. I say, 'no you did something bad. You are not bad'. The action is different from the person who is doing it".
I had to marinade on her comment for a brief moment and then it occurred to me. Words are like invisible projectiles and when we spew them, it is wise to choose carefully in case they cause harm. This visual by Emeli Sande sums up my point exactly. Beware the power of the words you utter!

Change of season

It is that time of the year when T and I sadly have to start cutting back on our outdoor play and indulging in a lot more indoor fun activities. At some point this week I am going to have to do the rounds of children's centres and playgroups around the area to pick up their winter schedules. As much as I have lived through many winters in my lifetime I can never seem to get used to the cold or the limitations it places on our lifestyle especially when it comes to the outdoors. The snow that comes with it might be beautiful and offer its own range of activities to indulge in but personally I hate the cold and all the layering of clothing to keep warm!!! Still I cannot complain because after many years of disappointments we have had a nice summer indeed this year; one that was sizzling and perfect for the outdoors. With Halloween, Fireworks night, Thanksgiving and Christmas still on the way, the cold weather might not yet dampen my spirits yet. But once that is all over and January hits, it becomes a tough road until Easter.

Little terror

You know when people with young kids tell you toddlers are little devils... believe them! Three days ago T brought a balloon home from a birthday we had attend and it only took him about a day to find out  I am one of these people that is over-sensitive to high pitched scratching and screeching sound. Now he uses it to terrorize me. Twice today I had chastised him for being disobedient and off he went, grabbed his balloon, walked over to and smiled at me, and started giving the balloon a good scratching. So far it has been difficult not to act as if I am not affected but I am trying. The plan is to let him have his five minutes of fun scratching before I surprise him by popping the balloon with a concealed needle <bang> and scaring the wits out of him to teach him a lesson. I just hope he doesn't poo poo his pants in the process because guess who will have to clean it up?!! Ha ha ha ha Daddy always wins ^_^ 

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