Goodbye Grandma

Grandma left yesterday to go back home and honestly I am a little sad and miss her. I am not sure how T feels about her leaving though; one moment he says he misses her, and the next moment, he says he doesn't. I think it all boils down to the fact that he is aware that now Grandma is gone, one of us his parents will be home looking after him; and no amount of sweeties or cuddles or naps on 'Grandma's fatty belly', as he likes to say can beat that. I am ever so thankful to my Mum for the assistance she contributed over the summer months and I look forward to her next visit, hopefully in the very near future.

Whoopee we now have a car!

After putting it off for what must have seem like an eternity, we are finally a part of the car generation. I have nothing against public transport but honestly with a child in tow, it is a pain. Apart from the constant dragging around, the inconveniences of getting somewhere quick or the lack thereof of being able to get somewhere without having to connect to several lines or modes of transportation, I was sick of the manners or lack of one and the language T and I have to often put up with from others on public transport. Now that we got a car, we can get so much done within a limited space of time and there are more options to get out and about and explore places that would have been so difficult to get to on public transport. And the best part is I don't have to be worried about some idiot with a potty mouth corrupting T when all we want to do is travel around and get to places in peace. Yes, cars are expensive, but boy they sure are worth it.

Art therapy

What to do when your son tells you he does not like you? Indulge in some art therapy I guess. Just over 2 hours ago, I put T in a timeout for being naughty and unruly. Moments later he uttered those painful words every parents dread,' I don't like you Daddy'! I was so shocked and disappointed, I marched over to him and told him to take it back, which he did. Still reeling and slightly upset after he had gone to bed, I grabbed some pieces of paper  to channel the anger and disappointment I was feeling. I was shocked by what resulted. I have named the pictures 'mean cross daddy' and 'smiley happy daddy'. They are on the wall now and the next time T is being disobedient I can point at them and tell him the choice of which daddy he likes or dislikes, and the daddy he has to deal, lies fully with him.

Back to work blues

It has been over two weeks since I went back to work and oh boy am I exhausted! Before I went back to work, I felt like I hardly had any time in a day. Now that I am back to work, I feel like I am in a race against time and it seems as if I am almost rushing to catch up every time. I rarely ever have time for lunch now. My mornings are as chaotic as ever. And by the time I have to go to bed, I am in a daze wondering where the whole day went.

To make matters worse T is starting to act up over my return to work and he is not happy that I have left him at home to be looked after by my Mum. At first, he was fine with me going out to work and he was really sweet to my Mum. Over the first week, he hardly baited an eyelid as I got ready, picked up my bag and said goodbye: so long as he had something to watch on TV. After the first week, he started to whine a bit about my going to work and I also started to notice some not so nice attitude from him to my mum. Not knowing what to make of it, I started telling him that my mum was there to help as I needed to work so I can earn money for us to buy a shiny new car which he can ride in and also take him on a trip to Disneyland: all true and valid points. It seemed to work for a few days until Tuesday night when I was putting him to bed, he point blank told me he did not want me to go to work anymore. But I have to so we can buy a car and go to Disneyland, I pointed out. 'I want you home to look after me', he answered. But Grandma is here and she can look after you while I am at work, I added. 'No! Grandma can go back to her house and you stay here in our house to look after me', he retorted. We left it at that, me thinking it was just a random conversation. Yesterday morning, soon as he woke up, he hugged me and asked what we were doing for the day. I am going to work and you are staying with Grandma after which I will take you out to play when I get back, I answered. He threw a strop instantly and repeated what he had said the night before about me not going to work: I thought he was playing. A few hours later as I got ready to leave, he asked to go to the toilet so I put him on the toilet. My mum seeing it was time for me to leave stepped in and offered to watch over and wipe him when he was done. Soon as she stepped into the toilet and I stepped out, he started crying and screaming at her to go away because he wanted his daddy. Each time she asked if he was done, she was met with a resounding and emphatic no, I want my daddy. Seeing my mum struggling, I dropped my bag, stepped back in the toilet and asked if he was done. I got a yes at the first time of asking so I wiped him and explained to him once again why I had to go to work. I walked over to the treat cupboard, gave him a treat and he calmed down enough for me to be able to leave for work. When I arrived home in the afternoon, I was informed by my mum that he had wet himself twice and pooed in his pants and during the times he did it, he was standing there just staring at her and did not even say a word afterwards. Now he rarely ever pees himself let alone pooh, yes sometimes he has accidents and when he does, it is mainly because he got carried away and realized late. But to just stand there and pee or pooh without any care... he is mad at me and he is acting out by being very mean and standoffish to my mum- not cool! This morning was the same. Me trying to leave. Him trying for me to to leave. My mum caught in the middle doing all she can to help.
Never one to give up easily, I have been thinking all day and I have my first idea to try out to see if it works. I hardly ever give T treats or sweets because he is such a fussy eater but I am not my mum so I am hoping a little bit of bribery, the oldest trick in the book, would aid his transition from Daddy daycare to Grandma daycare. I have prepared some bags of treats and for the next week, I will instruct my mum to give them to him when I am away at work.

Hopefully that would make him warm to her as he starts to associate their time together as a time to be treated.  I really hope it works because if it does not then I do not know what to do as I am at my wits end. One thing for sure is I am not about to give up work so if he carries on, then it is going to be one long summer for everyone in our household especially my mum who is just doing her bit to help.

Daddy's off to work!

I am off to work today for the first time in 2 years after having taken that whole time off to look after T. Honestly, I am feeling a mixed bag of emotions about it. On one hand I am happy that T will gain some independence and I can go out, purse other goals and in turn make some money which we really need. On the other, I am sad and emotional because T and I have always done everything together and now instead of witnessing things happen to each other, all we will now have is just stories to tell. It is the end of an episode but I am sure many more will come; like when he goes to nursery for the first time for example. I have loved and enjoyed my entire time at home with T and I wish I could continue but unfortunately it is what it is and sadly every episode must come to an end. In the meantime, he is in my Mum's care at home and will be until he starts full time nursery in September. I just hope he is not missing me like I am missing him right now -:(