Growth Spurts

Two weeks ago when T and I went to the clinic and the pediatrician told me that at the rate at which he is growing, he is likely to be over 6 feet tall. I was thinking in my head tell me what I don't know. He is only 3 months short of his 3rd birthday and he is already 3.2 feet tall. I just tried to put him in a set of clothing and they are too small on him... he has hardly worn the clothes for 6 months! This is so typical these days. We bought him 2 sets of pyjamas when we were in the States in November,  less than 3 months later and the tops are already too skimpy and every time he puts them on he looks like he has a cropped top on. I guess I do not notice the growth spurts because I see him every day and the only time it ever dawns on me is when he is not fitting in clothes I expect him to fit in. We only just cleared out his wardrobe and bought some new clothes and already it's time for another wardrobe overhaul. Sigh!

Awesome new arts and craft creations

Went from this...

To this, thanks to the help of some few YouTube tutorials

Have fun playing with them T x

The first alphabet he wrote himself

And T’s first self-penned alphabet is... the letter X! He writes it on his teeth brushing chart twice a day by himself now.

Here comes the lies

T told his first lie today. I told him to eat his lunch and while attending to some chores in the next room and noticed through the reflection in the mirror that instead of eating he was playing with a pen that was lying within arms rich on the table. Are you eating? I asked. Yes, he answered. Moments later, he heard my footsteps approaching. In the same mirror, I spied him dropping the pencil, pick up the spoon and pretend as if he as busy eating. Soon as I came into the room where he was, he looked up at me, smiled and without me asking, he said, I am eating! I could only feign a smile at the lie. Hopefully he doesn't make it a habit.

A lot to say on the issue of term time holidays

There are some pieces of legislation I come across sometimes that just renders me speechless for a brief moment before I have an out pouring of words I have to beg myself to stop. Many like the hateful spate of anti-homosexual bills being issued by numerous backward nations around the world at the moment or Arizona’s ongoing ludicrous religious rights bill do not make it on to here for specific reasons. The UK government’s amendment to the Education Act which basically criminalizes parents for taking their children out of school during term time for holiday or extended leave purposes has to though. If you are not aware of this amendment or have never read a word of it, it is available and explained here.

The issue of taking children out of school to enjoy a break away with family has long been a decisive one. So it is no surprise that with the new amendment and the difficulties some parents are facing, the matter is back in the news and is currently being examined and debated by parliament. This follows a father’s rant which went viral about how much he had to pay to take his family abroad on holiday during the school holiday period. So why now is parliament just examining and debating this law you ask? How did they not do it before signing it into law you wonder? Yes, while we were worrying about other issues like the recession, jobs, recovery, immigration, Romania, Scotland, EU and all that other mess, these sets of politicians were busying coming up with all sorts of ideas, some of which escaped the public’s eye and got made law before anyone could raise an objection; this amendment is one of them.

Moving on swiftly, it has only been 6 months since the amendment was made and people are starting to be up in arms. On one hand, we have the group that say this amendment is a necessary evil. On the other, we have those that say it is straight ridiculous and amount to dictatorship. I am with the latter. The former including the very annoying Education Secretary that keeps tweaking and messing with the education system have listed a whole range of points why this amendment is necessary, these three stand out the most to me

1.      Parents that take their children out of school during term time to holiday abroad are displaying a lack of commitment to their children’s learning.

2.      Children who miss a few day of school miss out on important teaching and learning and this absence can seriously harm their progress and attainment plus it can impact other children’s learning

3.      Holidaying abroad is a luxury, not a right or necessity so if you cannot afford to go abroad during the school holidays then holiday here in the UK

Typical holiday price comparison chart by the Daily Mail

One can only laugh and watch haplessly as rich politicians who have no clue about what it is like to work in a dead end job for peanuts, pass judgments on regular everyday people who are struggling to do the best for themselves and their families. I sat down and below are my thoughts about the three points above.

1.      This is true but only to a certain extent. Formal learning is important but so is the informal learning part so what parents contribute to their child’s education outside of school should never be overlooked especially the self-esteem part. One of the biggest problems in society today is our over-reliance on the formal education system. Too many parents rely entirely on the school system and teachers to parent and teach their children while forgetting that teachers and the school system can only do so much. A teacher can lecture children about people skills or forming and creating good relationships day in day out but it is through spending quality time with others including parents, friends and family in the context of culture, community and the environment that children really learn to build good relationships and develop an excellent sense of self and true belonging. Look at all these kids walking the streets of our big cities these days. Many of them have gone to school, gained qualifications upon qualifications yet they have no real self-esteem or a sense of belonging. They have no time for anyone, they have no common sense, they don’t respect anybody, and they feel disconnected from everything and everyone around them within the community. I am sure somebody told them about respect, care and personal responsibility in school but have they did they have the opportunity or the environment outside of school to apply it? Probably not. Also just because people send their children to school 24/7 does not mean they are committed to their learning; for many it is just a case of transferring responsibility so they can attend to other issues like work, money, etc. The next time there is an unexpected school closure due to the weather or strike, peep the numbers of parents on TV moaning about the mild inconvenience of having to be stuck at home with their children for a few days and you will see what I mean.
On to another level before I move on to the next point, when you are an immigrant the situation gets even more complex. I for example do not know any teacher that can teach my son about his family’s cultural origin and people considering my partner and I are immigrants with the bulk or our families living abroad. So if we decide to take him out of school during term because that is when we can afford the costs or we/they can get time off work so we can experience what it is like being together with our family, does that mean we are not committed to our son’s learning? Just last year we went with our son to the US to celebrate Thanksgiving with family and we were thinking it will be the last time we will be able to do that considering he starts school in September and Thanksgiving is not a holiday in the UK. Is it fair to have something that has such a major cultural impact on us and we would like to pass to our children taken away? What about penalizing all the people that would like to celebrate Eid, Durga Puja, weddings, funerals, you name it with family abroad considering the number of immigrants in this country and these not being UK holidays? Shall we just say that is their problem or do their situation just not matter?

When you are an immigrant the situation gets even more complex. I for example do not know any teacher that can teach my son about his family’s cultural origin and people considering my partner and I are immigrants with the bulk or our families living abroad. So if we decide to take him out of school during term because that is when we can afford the costs or we/they can get time off work so we can experience what it is like being together with our family, does that mean we are not committed to our son’s learning? Just last year we went with our son to the US to celebrate Thanksgiving with family and we were thinking it will be the last time we will be able to do that considering he starts school in September and Thanksgiving is not a holiday in the UK. Is it fair to have something that has such a major cultural impact on us and we would like to pass to our children taken away? What about penalizing all the people that would like to celebrate Eid, Durga Puja, weddings, funerals, you name it with family abroad considering the number of immigrants in this country and these not being UK holidays? Shall we just say that is their problem or do their situation just not matter?

2.      Unless a child is constantly absent from school or they have had a long spell of absence, this is untrue. The same way people argue that a short break will make a child fall behind in school, one could argue that a short break may be what they need to refresh and kick start their motivation for learning. I was in that situation years ago aged 11 in my first year of secondary school back in Africa when I had major surgery for complicated appendicitis and missed over 7 weeks of school. After I was healed, I rejoined my class and sat the same exams everyone sat without favors. At the end of the term, I was bench-marked 47^th out of 49 students in the class. Knowing I would have to repeat the class if I did not improve and not wanting to, I was motivated to study and work harder and by the end of that school calendar year when benchmarks for the entire year was released I had improved and placed 9^th out of 49 students. If a child suddenly stops progressing or performing in school, then it is up to the school to work with the parents to determine the underlying cause. Are there issues such as distractions outside of school? Is there a lack of parental support with assignments and homework? Or is there an non-diagnosed disability or condition involved? Blaming a short leave of absence for the reason a children fails to progress at school just sounds phony. Many parents want the best for their children so I don’t see why they would take them out of school knowing it will hinder their progress. What I see are parents who are trying to do the best for their children and teachers who are trying their hardest to do as much as they can. Perhaps schools and parents need to work better together for the children’s sake but how does this amendment help that? It does nothing other than  penalize parents for daring to make what they think is the best decision for their family, think about all the low paid people on zero hour contracts that can only have time off work at certain periods. Do they not deserve to have a break with their family when they can?
3.      Of course I am sure many people would rather holiday in the UK if they can but everyone who has ever seen the school holiday period prices of train companies (that is if you don’t have to ride on a bus because of engineering works), Butlins and Centre Parcs will understand why the likes of Ryanair and Easyjet do great during school holidays. Bring on-board the crazy unpredictable UK weather and you will understand why people who live in the UK like to travel abroad to the Sunshine when they have the opportunity? The introduction of Air Passenger duty (APD) has not helped either. Add that on top of airlines putting up prices during the school holiday periods and holidays begin to get out of reach for a lot of people. Indeed on recent air tickets I had bought recently, APD actually exceeded the price I paid for the seat itself. So it is no wonder people want to pull their children out of school to go on holiday when they spot discounts they can afford. In a nutshell many working parents are so priced out of the market during school holiday periods they have to resort to desperate means if their children are ever to have a holiday. I even read the story of a parent who actually took his kids out of school and was happy to pay the fine levied by their school on return because the total worked out cheaper than what he would have paid minus the fine during the school holiday period. Bearing that in mind as well as all the other crazy levies that have been introduced in the past, one has to wonder what this law will really achieve other than to line someone’s pockets; the school, government, whoever because Lord  knows who gets to keeps the fine. Also is it right that politicians in Westminster who enjoys the bulk of summer off and have deep pockets get to legislate and control when the rest of us the working population goes or cannot go on a holiday with our families considering the cost of a holiday is not something they or their corporate friends will never have to worry about?

It is unclear where this parliamentary debate regarding this issue will lead to. Will they decide to regulate prices during school holidays? That sounds impossible! Will they stagger school holidays across the England during the school year? Heaven knows! Or will this amendment be struck down and parents handed back some controls about the decisions they make regarding their children’s day to day education and learning? We will see. One thing is clear though and that is this government needs to step back and stop acting like a dictatorship especially regarding the educational system. Since this government took power, there has been change after change to the education system, every other day there is another change or announcement. It is no wonder teachers are fed up and have announced a strike for next month. There is only so much they can take and guess what, parents might be next. The current education secretary is so unpopular one wonders why he is still in the job. I have watched him a couple of times on TV and I find him quite the cocky, talkative and slippery kind and we all know what cocky talkative slippery characters did to our economy. Thus, I rest my case.

On drinking alcohol while pregnant

I am not sure exactly of what to make of the case of the council in north west England planning to lodge a criminal injuries compensation case at the Court of Appeal for a six-year-old girl who was born with foetal alcohol spectrum disorder. If you haven't read the story, here it is. Apparently the girl mother's drank excessively while the girl was in her womb and now the council is seeking to prosecute the mother for maliciously administering poison so as to endanger life or inflict grievous bodily harm under section 23 of the Offences Against the Person Act 1861.
Seriously I do not get some people. You wouldn't knowingly feed alcohol or anything you know would harm your children to them so why would you consume things that over time science has confirmed could harm your unborn foetus? Is a lack of education responsible? Or rather a reckless and selfish attitude? Those aside, do these people even think of the lifetime of burden, issues and difficulties they will put their children through as a result of the avoidable damage? Or the amount of money it costs if these kids are taken into care or require constant medical support? Probably not so perhaps it is time to start making people pay when found to have been willingly careless or neglectful while pregnant! It is annoying and distressing to think that kids who did not ask to be born are put into these situations and considering the numerous sacrifice many parents make for their kids, people like these (who cannot give up alcohol drugs, or smoking for just 9 months) are actually having kids. I mean where is the love, care, sacrifice or compassion?!!!
It would be interesting to see which way this case goes because it might set a precedent for other similar cases in the UK; according to statistics, around 7,000 children a year are born in England and Wales with foetal alcohol syndrome as a result of their mother's abuse of alcohol while pregnant. One way or another, each one of these kids deserve some type of justice. 

Happy Valentine's day

T made cards at playgroup today and I was so glad when the teacher asked who the cards are for, he mentioned us his parents, not his best pals, L and B. I am so going to treasure this and every other cards he makes and dedicates to me while I can because heaven knows, he'll soon grow up and this won't be the case every time anymore. Sending abundant love to you all today and always x

Awesome article

Here is an article about parenting I just read and and think everyone should read. Enjoy!

Smart pants

There I was singing "Hip Hop Reindeer", while we were walking down the street when T goes, 'Stop singing that, it is not Christmas'! I turned to him and asked how he knew it wasn't Christmas. 'The lights aren't on. There is no snow. The trees are gone. Santa and the Elves aren't here. And it is just winter', he responded. This boy LOL... such smarty pants!

Night potty training update

So it has been almost a week since we decided to ditch the pull-ups and put T in pants for bed. So far it is going very well indeed; he woke up on Sunday morning with a slight wet patch in his pants but from then, he has been as dry as the Sahara in the mornings. On Tuesday night I tried to see what his reaction would be if I tried to put him in a pull-up and he was having absolutely none of it; he threw a massive tantrum and was screaming until I admitted I was just playing and put the pull-up away completely out of sight. Seems we are in this for the long haul and nappy days might be over... I'm so over the moon -:)!

Night potty training begins

T was so thrilled to go to bed in his pants tonight. He has been asking actually since last November and has been waking up announcing he is dry most mornings but we have been dragging our feet about it considering Christmas, holiday, etc. Anyway better late than never. I just took him to the loo now before I go to sleep myself and there was no fussing; he got up calmly, used the toilet without a word or whine, and went back to bed right back to sleep. I will be keeping my fingers crossed for the morning. I am sure there will be accidents but he is only 2 1/2. Anyway we have a whole cabinet full of pull-ups in case it doesn't work out on this occasion and we need to give him more time to try again.

Glossing over adoption

In another case of perception vs. reality, this advert has provoked lots of reaction online for glossing over the adoption process. Though I do realise there are time constraints and there is only so much that could be crammed into a 30 second advert but really?!!! Adopting a kid is not like turning up at a store, picking up an item and life is perfect ever after you know; it is a difficult, arduous and emotionally exhausting process for all involved and that continues for an entire lifetime. There are ways to celebrate adoption or sell jewellery; this totally deceptive and misinformed way should not be one of them. Total and utter fail!

Toddler tantrums article

Interesting article about toddler tantrums. Just don't tell some parents because that would then be their perfect excuse when their child is simply behaving badly.

Perception vs reality

This is so true!